Spring 2017 (Volume 27, Number 1)

The Rheumatoid Arthritis Journey: Flipping the Switch—Reverse Thinking

By Michael Starr, MD, rheumatologist, McGill University Health Center, Montreal, Canada

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Today is another day of pain and despair
And I won’t be fooled into thinking that
I can cope physically and emotionally
I have changed
My spouse and kids have noticed
Because
Fatigue owns me
And I don’t want to be complaining that
Life is a chore
I don’t want to believe that
My future is anything but bleak
Believe it, ASK me
Because if your Global is better than mine
I may be suffering more than you think
I am not feeling fine, It’s not a lie
Just because I look normal to you
I put on a brave face
I’ll surely take my meds
If you say
It’s the encouragement I crave
To have hope where there has been none before
You ask as if there is truly a light
I need to believe you
I need a partner on this journey
It’s not enough to just write a script
Enjoyment, Play, Work, Love, Self-esteem
The things I have lost
You tell me I will regain, even if it’s hard
I am feeling out of control
And I’ll never believe that
People are listening to me and ready to help
I have Rheumatoid Arthritis
What is going on
Help me understand
Maybe
I am depressed, and
Perhaps
Not thinking that
Something can be done
My daily activities can progressively get better, and
I can be me again ■

Now read this poem in reverse for a different perspective:

I can be me again
My daily activities can progressively get better, and
Something can be done
Not thinking that
Perhaps
I am depressed, and
Maybe
Help me understand
What is going on
I have Rheumatoid Arthritis
People are listening to me and ready to help
And I’ll never believe that
I am feeling out of control
You tell me I will regain, even if it’s hard
The things I have lost
Enjoyment, Play, Work, Love, Self-esteem
It’s not enough to just write a script,
I need a partner on this journey
I need to believe you
You ask as if there is truly a light
To have hope where there has been none before
It’s the encouragement I crave
If you say
I’ll surely take my meds
I put on a brave face
Just because I look normal to you
I am not feeling fine, It’s not a lie
I may be suffering more than you think
Because if your Global is better than mine
Believe it, ASK me
My future is anything but bleak
I don’t want to believe that
Life is a chore
And I don’t want to be complaining that
Fatigue owns me
Because
My spouse and kids have noticed
I have changed
I can cope physically and emotionally
And I won’t be fooled into thinking that
Today is another day of pain and despair ■

Copyright © 2017 by Dr. Michael Starr. All rights reserved. This poem was created for the CRA annual meeting Lilly symposia: Coping with the Burden of RA Disease and Sustaining Patient Function–The Interaction Between Physical Function and Emotional Well-being. No part of this poem may be copied or distributed without consent from the author. All requests should be directed to Dr. Michael Starr at Michael.Starr@muhc.mcgill.ca.